Whenever you are sick, your usual sense of control over your body may be shaken. You may feel inadequate and helpless. An illness can change the way you experience your body or it might actually change the way you look because of surgery, amputation, scarring, or weight loss.
These changes can create painful anxiety. You wonder whether you'll be able to function in your usual social, sexual and career roles. You wonder what people will think of you. This anxiety—and the depression and fatigue that often go along with it—understandably make sexuality seem less important. But once the immediate crisis has passed, sexual feelings and how to express them may become important again.
Feeling anxious about resuming sexual activity is normal and natural. It is easy to "get out of practice." You may have questions about whether sexual activity will hurt you in some way. You may wonder how you will be able to experience sexual pleasure and your partner may share the same worries. He or she may be especially concerned about tiring you out or hurting you somehow.
But once you resume sexual relations, your comfort and confidence should gradually increase. If not, sexual counseling may help you discover ways to deal with whatever problems you are having. For many people, a "new start"—by themselves or through counseling—is refreshing. It might even create opportunities for greater intimacy and sharing than ever before.
What to Do When You Are in the Hospital Your cancer treatment might involve long stays in the hospital and long separations from those you love. Hospitals or convalescent facilities don't usually provide much privacy, so there may be little opportunity for sexual expression unless you speak up.
